Today's study hit home with me.

I have suffered with depression all of my life. It wasn't until I started having panic attacks. It feels like watching a scary movie. Then the scare comes and you jump and your senses are heighten. Then you calm down. Unfortunately the feeling doesn't stop in a panic attack, for minutes, hours even days. I had to go to a clinic for a relief. Well they fixed that with drugs. They also tested me for depression. They told me I was extremely depressed which can cause the panic attacks. I felt ashamed to have a mental illness. Is there a family history of depression, they asked. I didn't know so I asked my parents. My mother said well Danny I don't know if we ever told you, her father, my grandfather hung himself in the barn after my parents were married.

He was told by doctors that you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Now I wasn't ashamed, I was scared. What was going to happen to me? I started medication and they didn't work. Bad side affects. Tired, looking drunk, fainting, muscle tremors, among others. Finally I was put on Prozac in the 1980's it was a new drug. I took it for two weeks and one day I went to get coffee and I suddenly noticed that I felt good. Is that what normal feels like? It was amazing, I never felt like that before. And I have been on medication ever since. I remember a doctor said to me, if you were a diabetic and needed insulin would you not tell people that?

Well, you need antidepressants, so shut up and take your pills. It's not your fault.

So what does this have to do with God.

This was before I was saved. But I think God was looking out for me because I am one of his children. It's a burden to be depressed, but we need burdens to overcome. And God overcame my plight. Yeah I have to take pills, but I thank God that I have them.

I know I've rambled on, but I needed to tell others my journey so it might benefit others.

Thank the Lord for my life and yours.

Danny